getaway

It's a good day. I am home from work, which means I have officially begun my mini-vacation. Granted, it will be much more exciting when Brad gets home from work, and even more so when we leave for the airport tomorrow, but I'm going to cherish every moment of this Tatermoon. (Brad loathes the term Babymoon, so we are going on a Tatermoon. Because that is totally different.)

I am also excited for the moment when Brad gets home from work because he's bringing home a package from Gap which contains maternity PAJAMAS. Oh heavens, am I excited. I mistakenly thought that my regular pjs would get me through pregnancy. Turns out the elastic waistbands on most of my pj bottoms are not that forgiving. (Do you know what a blow to the ego that is? I mean, pj bottoms are like the ultimate fat pants. When I couldn't squeeze into my flannel bottoms the other night, I whimpered aloud. . . . But I still ate a huge bowl of Chocolate Cheerios for dessert, possibly two. They call to me.) It isn't just the bottoms. The pj tanks and shirts don't come close to covering the belly, and the pj industry doesn't make halter-top pajamas for a reason. So I'm down to one pair of bottoms that fit. They are adorned with pumpkins and they are beginning to develop holes. If I'm at home, I am wearing my holey pumpkin pajama bottoms. Typically with one of Brad's long-sleeved t-shirts. Sexy? Hell no. Comfortable? Yes. Warm? Not so much. The pants are are made of stretchy cotton and they are becoming threadbare. So it was time to take the plunge. I shelled out a grand total of $30 for two sets of maternity pjs from Old Navy during their after Thanksgiving sale. And tonight I will be able to wear brand new flannel bottoms adorned with adorable Christmas trees and a matching pregnancy long-underwear-ish top. Happy happy joy joy. Still not very sexy, but definitely a notch up on the cuteness scale.

All of this happiness aside, I am in the middle of a love/hate battle with Gap Inc. I love their cheap-ish maternity clothes enough to let little annoyances slide. Little annoyances such as their no-in-store returns policy for maternity wear -- even when the items are carried in-store. Or their $6 fee for return shipping of maternity items. Why must I pay $6 but folks buying Women's sizes get return shipping for free.

But Gap has recently tossed a big annoyance in the mix. They have manhandled their online order processing and shipping processes. It's out of control. Two months ago, I would place an online order, it would ship the next day via UPS, and arrive at Brad's office the following day. And I would think warm and fuzzy things about Gap Inc. But starting a month or two ago, Gap Inc. decided that processing orders in a day was too much trouble. Now it takes a week, if not longer, to process the order and send it out the door. Adding insult to injury, shipping is no longer handled by dependable UPS. They've contracted out to FedEx, which contracts out to the USPS, which makes ridiculous decisions when figuring out how best to get a package from point A to point B. For Gap Inc., point A is in Indiana. Point B is Chicago. Chicago is practically in Indiana. Yet packages shipped by FedEx "Smartpost" (aka, USPS in disguise) leave Indiana and head for Wisconsin. Did you catch that? They leapfrog their actual destination. They skip the giant hub that is Chicago and head north. What used to take one day now takes over a week. Grumble.

This morning I went into Liz's office at work and complained about this issue, and Liz is patient enough to listen and nod and empathize. Sweet Liz. I can be such a raving lunatic these days. Anyhoo, as of this morning, the pj order that I placed the day after Thanksgiving was scheduled to arrive at Brad's office this Saturday. Two weeks later. Meaning no comfy new pjs for the Tatermoon. But the powers that be at Gap must have heard my tirade, because miraculously the pj package arrived today. FedEx website still shows a delivery date of Saturday, and believes the pj package has not left Wisconsin. Genius. I like to think UPS couldn't stand to see such disgraceful shipping practices and swooped in to save the day.

In other good news, the stitch that developed in my side on Sunday finally disappeared this morning. It was unpleasant and made it hard to sleep, walk, sit. I thought for sure it was problematic, but then I did some trusty online research and learned that it's normal. Back in the old days, pre-Tater, when I felt a side stitch while exercising, I would breathe deeply and focus on the stitch and it would gradually dissipate. No such luck this time, perhaps because breathing deeply is no longer an option. Or perhaps because what felt like a stitch was really Tater jockeying for more room in my turduckin tummy. Regardless, I'm just happy that it's gone, as our Tatermoon is in Charleston and we are planning to do a lot of walking. We are also spending Friday morning at a spa, where I'm getting the mommy-to-be package. Prenatal massage, facial, and manicure. Pampering and warm pj bottoms that fit. All in one week. Heaven.